My head felt like it was going to explode today.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to deal with. My son’s problems at school and sorting out options for him next year. My current exercuse classes, and pressure from others to start new classes I’m not convinced by. I like being able to slowly add classes where there is demand and wait for them to establish before thinking about the next idea. Expanding at my own pace. I like the classes I do, I don’t want to change them and mess my clients around.

I’ve got a job interview day after tomorrow, which is great. But now I’m worrying how I’m going to work around the kids and their activities. And I’d love to keep my classes going – will I have to give up what I’ve worked hard at establishing over the last year? The investment in my training, the relationships I’ve built, and the friendships I don’t want to let down. The flexibility around the children’s needs. I’m torn between this and needing to earn more. How am I going to juggle a job and being a single mum? But thousands of women do.

Since my depression I find sometimes my head feels full. So full that I simply cannot deal with another thought. I can’t make decisions. It’s like when your laptop freezes because you’ve asked it to do too many things at once. I shut down.

I’m still learning that when this happens I have to put some things aside. Just deal with a few things at once, the rest can wait. Sometimes things resolve themselves. Wait until my head clears, feels a bit emptier. Nobody can do everything at once.