I was in a relationship for 19 years and thought, despite the flaws (you have to work at a marriage, don’t you?) it would all be ok. I hadn’t realised I was being manipulated to his advantage, that I was being controlled. Now I’m rebuilding my life, trying to work out who is the real me after many years of trying to change myself because he made me feel I wasn’t a nice person and was always being unreasonable. I hope these ramblings will help others who are in the same situation, or those who perhaps don’t realise they are acutally being abused. It’s something you don’t see when you’re in the situation, or you chose to ignore those niggling feelings that something’s not right, but it must be you.